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What do dentists call their x-rays?
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What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics!

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The day my teacher stole my headphones
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During my sophomore year of high school, we were doing silent work and my history teacher said that we could listen to music but if it was too loud he would “break our headphones.” so I’m doing my work quietly with my music on low, and this obnoxious kid sitting next to me had his music really loud.

I could hear it over my music but ignored it. My teacher thought it was me. So he comes up to me & ripped my BRAND NEW Apple headphones, looking ruthless.

He suddenly realized it was the guy next to me and he was completely embarrassed. He came in the next day with a new pair and an apology note taped to them. He couldn’t look me in the eye for the rest of the year

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Why did the giraffe get such bad grades?
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Why did the giraffe get such bad grades?

He always had his head stuck in the clouds.

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My mom’s thong
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One day when I was 3 I decided I wanted to be like my mom and wear “big girl” panties. I sneakily went through her drawer and grabbed the first thing I could find – a thong (I didn’t know what it was at the time). She didn’t know until we went to breakfast with some friends and took me to the bathroom. She still won’t let me live it down!

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Socially awkward fail
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So one day I was walking around, just chilling with my friends when I see this guy reading a book. He was new there but the book was a book I read and LOVED.

So naturally I approach this boy hoping to make a new friend and bond over the series. Being the socially awkward fail I am I planned out ahead of time what I’d say: “Hey, we’ve [my friends and I] wanted to come over to say hi cause I say you were reading a book I liked and I hope we can talk more in the future.”

But no.

Once we got to him I panicked and just had to blurt out “We’ve come to hello you.” and I think my voice cracked and I almost started to cry.

Never gonna talk to them again.

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Now that’s what I call stupid
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In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date.

He rented a Redbox movie and made a pizza.

We were watching the movie and the oven beeped so the pizza was done.

He looked me dead in the eye and said, “This is the worst part.”

I then watched this boy open the oven and pull the pizza out with his bare hands, rack and all, screaming at the top of his lungs.

We never had a second date.

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What do you call a dog with no legs?
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What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.

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Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
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Why aren’t koalas considered bears?

They don’t have the right koala-fications.

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Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver?
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Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver?

The sink.

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I started a new job as a tailor last week
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I started a new job as a tailor last week.

It’s been sew-sew.

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