GOOD NOTES: Funny Posts for Today

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.

No pun in ten did.

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50 shades of butt

So to begin my story I should tell you that I work at a Medical Spa as front desk and my job entails mostly computer and customer service related tasks. however, I am also there to assist the on shift technician, obviously not with the lasers as I am not certified, but with well…helping shaving clients to prepare them for their treatment. So this particular Saturday I was asked to help shave a client’s back, which was fine it’s part of my job and I just needed to be professional about it and it’s something I’ve unfortunately had to do before as well so no big deal right? wrong. So I do the usual I put on my gloves grab a razor and begin assisting the tech however much to my surprise (and displeasure) the tech suddenly pulls down the client’s pants and underwear to which I am greeted with a hairy behind. It is all I can do in my power to keep from laughing from sheer shock. I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say it was not totally normal colored…trying to stay professional I then had to proceed and hold the clients butt cheek taunt to shave it. I finished as through and quick as I possibly could and booked it the hell out of the room. Later when I had to book the clients next appointment neither of us could look the other in the eye because of that traumatizing encounter. I will probably never be able to live down the moment I looked at the multicolored butt right in the crack.

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What do dentists call their x-rays?

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics!

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What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time.

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What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

Q: What did the cupcake tell its frosting? / A: I’d be muffin without you.

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A Bic pen up the ass

Not a doctor but I was an orderly at a mental institution once, a guy came up and asked for help removing a Bic pen from his ass.

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I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard

My whole class once got detention because I drew a penis with a glue stick on the whiteboard and when the teacher went to wipe off the board all the fluff came off and stuck to the glue.

I never got in trouble for it because my whole class found it too funny to tell the teacher it was me.

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That one time I got lost

So about a year ago, I was in Phys. Ed class, and we went around the neighborhood for a jog at the beginning of each class. I hadn’t done it before because of medical reasons, but the teacher evidently forgot about it. I’m incredibly bad with directions and easily distracted, so I lost sight of the rest of the group and went completely the wrong way. I ended up being lost for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. the best part is that I single handedly changed my school’s Phys. Ed policy.

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What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make?

What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? 

Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

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A guy casually tackling a cop

I saw a guy run out of a party and tackle a cop off a horse.

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