Recommended Funny Posts for Today – July 25, 2022, 7:25 pm

Drama at my drama class

One time my drama class’s teacher had gone home sick so we were just put in a classroom with a movie to entertain us for the period when an alarm went off. None of us were sure if it was the fire alarm or the lockdown alarm, so we all head out into the hall to check and no one’s out there, so we head back in and climb under our desks as is lockdown procedure.

Cut to an hour or so later when a teacher bursts in and nearly dies of relief because the school was on fire and we were the only students not accounted for and half the faculty and fire department had been searching for us for ages. Literally, the whole school had filled with smoke while we’d kept super safe under our wooden desks.

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What do you call a pudgy psychic?

What do you call a pudgy psychic?

A four-chin teller.

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Whenever you jump on a trampoline, did you know it changes the season?

Whenever you jump on a trampoline, did you know it changes the season?

No matter what time of year, it always becomes spring time.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had no body to go with.

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Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?

Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?

They work on many levels.

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What has four wheels and flies?

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A trash truck.

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Where do wasps like to get lunch?

Where do wasps like to get lunch?

A bee-stro.

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A girl who lost all inhibitions

One of my friends and I were at a house party. She drank 8 shots of tequila one right after the other and then proceeded to have bareback anal sex on the front lawn while everyone watched. Not one of her finest moments. She’s a Mormon now, apparently.

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Weed birthday

Last year, during class, my algebra teacher let us listen to music while we did our classwork and whatnot. So, I was just jamming, being super confused on this one problem and I look up from my paper to ask my friend how to do it and EVERYONE is intensely looking back and forth between me and another girl with their fingers on their noses. As you can imagine, I was super confused. So, naturally, I also put my finger on my nose. Everybody yelled “OHHHHHHHHHH” and turns out, it was a “nose goes” thing and the other girl had to ask the teacher if she’d ever smoked weed on her birthday because it was 4/20…

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I tried to win a suntanning competition

I tried to win a suntanning competition.

But all I got was bronze.

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A banana that has seen it all

Two girls screwed each other simultaneously with a banana (one on each end) at a party while a bunch of guys stood around and cheered. The next morning, some hung-over guy actually ate that brown, bruised, sticky banana.

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Why should you never trust stairs?

Why should you never trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.

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Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?

Q: Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window? / A: To see butter-fly.

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As it turns out, I am gay:

When I was around 9 years old I was starting to get confused about my sexuality so I would always look up “Are You Gay” quizzes on our family computer because I was scared and confused, and my mom eventually saw the searches in the history and confronted me about it. I lied about it and said I had accidentally clicked an ad. As it turns out, I am gay.

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