FEATURED: Funny Jokes That Will Have the Whole Family Laughing

Light bulb up the butt

I’m a nurse in an emergency department and we had one guy come in with light bulb stuck in ‘that’ area. He tensed when we were removing it and it shattered; he had to go for emergency surgery.

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To be fair, it was a pretty naughty fridge

Guy walked into the party, no one knew him, he walked around for a few minutes then puled out a gun, shot the refrigerator 2 times, and then calmly walked out.

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I’ve been trying to make a sarcastic club

I’ve been trying to make a sarcastic club, but it’s been really hard to tell if people are interested in joining or not.

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Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggie.

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Two goldfish are in a tank

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

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What did the mouse say to the other mouse when he tried to steal his cheese?

Q: What did the mouse say to the other mouse when he tried to steal his cheese?
A: That’s nacho cheese.

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What has four wheels and flies?

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A trash truck.

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I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids

I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids.

I’m a faux pa.

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Did you hear about the carrot detective?

Did you hear about the carrot detective?

He always got to the root of every case.

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Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.

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Just witnessed someone eat an ear, no biggie

I saw a dude on drugs eat some guys ear… We were having the good old parties back in college when a guy outside went crazy. He literally ripped the dudes ear of and started munching on that little fucker.

Someone called the cops and he was arrested, 2 years later he was arrested again for having 3 kids in his basement.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital? / A: He was peeling really bad.

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Why are frogs always so happy?

Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.

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What did one plate whisper to the other plate?

Q: What did one plate whisper to the other plate? / A: Dinner is on me.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

Want to hear a joke about construction?

I’m still working on it.

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