I’m a nurse in an emergency department and we had one guy come in with light bulb stuck in ‘that’ area. He tensed when we were removing it and it shattered; he had to go for emergency surgery.
Guy walked into the party, no one knew him, he walked around for a few minutes then puled out a gun, shot the refrigerator 2 times, and then calmly walked out.
I’ve been trying to make a sarcastic club, but it’s been really hard to tell if people are interested in joining or not.
Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog?
He wanted to get a long little doggie.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Q: What did the mouse say to the other mouse when he tried to steal his cheese?
A: That’s nacho cheese.
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A trash truck.
I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids.
I’m a faux pa.
Did you hear about the carrot detective?
He always got to the root of every case.
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
I saw a dude on drugs eat some guys ear… We were having the good old parties back in college when a guy outside went crazy. He literally ripped the dudes ear of and started munching on that little fucker.
Someone called the cops and he was arrested, 2 years later he was arrested again for having 3 kids in his basement.
Q: Why did the banana go to the hospital? / A: He was peeling really bad.
Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
Q: What did one plate whisper to the other plate? / A: Dinner is on me.
Want to hear a joke about construction?
I’m still working on it.