Why won’t skeletons fight each other? They just don’t have the guts.
In 2008 I had a buddy that was at a party in Tuscaloosa, AL and woke up in Meridian Mississippi
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night
Teen boy: They should have a test for eveyone coming out of high school to weed out the stupid kids
Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to– Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better
Why did the giraffe get such bad grades? He always had his head stuck in the clouds.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
I tried to win a suntanning competition. But all I got was bronze.
Street vendor: Hey, you married?Woman: No.Street vendor: Hmph. Me neither. If we were married, I would buy you a bag.
Q: Which is faster, heat or cold?A: Heat, because you can catch a cold.