I tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.
What was Sherlock Holmes’ favorite protein source? Mystery meat.
The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is… Wait, where are we again?
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
If the early bird gets the worm, I’ll sleep in until there’s pancakes.
Hipster boy: That’s why they call this the windy city? Hipster girl: This isn’t the windy city — that’s Seattle!
Friend of mine was at a party the cops busted. It was Halloween so everyone was in costume. This one
Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
What do you call a religious person who sleepwalks? A roamin’ Catholic.
An old timer was sitting in his rocking chair on his front portch when a kid comes walking by with