How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.
Q. Why do they serve yogurt at museums? A. Because it’s cultured.
Last year a few of my friends hosted a party at their house. The toilet got clogged and everyone just
Q: Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window? / A: To see butter-fly.
You: What cartoon mouse walks on two feet? Them: Mickey Mouse You: What duck walks on two feet? Them: Donald
After the final bell, my friend and I were walking to our buses after school through a crowded hallway. We
In fifth grade, my teacher loathed me. She would do anything to make me cry and sent me to the
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
Got busted by a police helicopter while drinking at the lake. Spotlighted us & and yelled at us over a
Spanish thug #1: I’m all about love, man, but I never say it, like, I loved my ex.Spanish thug #2: