College-Bound kid: So I can come home every weekend in October, to work on the haunted house.Mom: No. You can’t.
So one day I was walking around, just chilling with my friends when I see this guy reading a book.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?A: A stick.
Girl tourist #1: Oh my gosh, look at what that guy is wearing!Girl tourist #2: Ew. Blue jacket, striped shirt,
Why were they called the “dark ages?” Because there were a lot of knights.
Teen boy: They should have a test for eveyone coming out of high school to weed out the stupid kids
What’s either a really gross animal issue OR an impressive, magical school? Hogwarts.
I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
Q: What did the cupcake tell its frosting? / A: I’d be muffin without you.