Boy #1: Hey mom, is…is chicken meat?Boy #2: No, dumbass, it’s a fruit.Mother: Hush now! I don’t want to hear that
One time my drama class’s teacher had gone home sick so we were just put in a classroom with a
Street vendor: Hey, you married?Woman: No.Street vendor: Hmph. Me neither. If we were married, I would buy you a bag.
A couple years ago my friends and I were going to see a movie in the theatre at the mall.
Girl: Why do you like her so much? Guy: She’s just so weird-looking!
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
Why is sand so optimistic? It has a can-dune attitude.
A Roman legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please.”
Why was the dad sitting on a pack of playing cards? His kid asked him to sit on the deck.
Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggie.