What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to–
Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you up.
When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke?
When it becomes apparent.
Q. Why do comedians love eggs?
A. They’re easy to crack up.
What did the baker say when she won an award?
“It was a piece of cake.”
Q: Why do you smear peanut butter in the road? / A: To go with the traffic jam.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear!
A pair of cows were talking in the field.
One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents!
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business.