Hilarious selection of the best dad jokes

How do you measure a snake?

How do you measure a snake?

In inches—they don’t have feet.

0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
What do you call malware on a Kindle?

What do you call malware on a Kindle?

A bookworm.

4 1 vote
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
Where does a waitress with only one leg work?

Where does a waitress with only one leg work?

IHOP.

4 1 vote
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
What’s Cooler Than Star Trek? (Besides Everything)

HS Girl: That’s all she talks about. She watches Star Trek, she talks about Star Trek, she gets Star Trek tattoos all over her body.
HS Guy: At least my tattoo is cool.

0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
Did you hear about the carrot detective?

Did you hear about the carrot detective?

He always got to the root of every case.

3 1 vote
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
Some Judge Judy Will Take Care of That

Guy: I want to put a flat screen in my bathroom.

Girl: Interesting…

Guy: Maybe I would actually take baths if I had something else to watch other than my penis floating.

4 1 vote
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
How to win at video games

When I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to Club Penguin, except it was called Nicktropolis. And if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “What is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password.

So I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then I would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “What is your eye color?” (Which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids).

I would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. And if I didn’t want it, I could sell it for money.

0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
A failed ruse

My friends ripped a parking meter out of the ground and threw it off the fourth floor of their dorm to get it open.

It didn’t open, so they did it again.

It still didn’t open, so they toted it back up and kept it in their room until the end of the year, when they put it back in the ground.

0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
You Can Tell By His ‘I Really Heart New York’ Hat

Girl tourist #1: Oh my gosh, look at what that guy is wearing!
Girl tourist #2: Ew. Blue jacket, striped shirt, black pants, brown shoes with no socks. That’s terrible.
Girl tourist #1: Yeah, but, he can do that, right?
Girl tourist #2: Uh, no. Hello, nobody can get away with that.
Girl tourist #1: But, no, he can do that because he’s, like, really from New York. 

0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie

0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
0 0 votes
😂Funny Rating. 🤣
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x