Jokes That Will Have the Whole Family Laughing

Someone told me that I should write a book

Someone told me that I should write a book.

I said, “That’s a novel concept.”

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What do you get from a pampered cow?

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

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The Bouncer Made Them Wait Two Hours

Bimbette tourist: Oh my god! What’s that? It looks like a cool, underground club or secret hideout.
Friend: Um, that’s the entrance to the subway.

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Light bulb up the butt

I’m a nurse in an emergency department and we had one guy come in with light bulb stuck in ‘that’ area. He tensed when we were removing it and it shattered; he had to go for emergency surgery.

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.

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What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese? / A: Nacho cheese.

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What do you call a group of berries playing instruments?

Q. What do you call a group of berries playing instruments?

A. A jam session.

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What did the dishwasher say to the oven after a productive day?

What did the dishwasher say to the oven after a productive day?

“You’ve been on fire!”

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How did the hipster burn his mouth?

How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate his pizza before it was cool.

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What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

Q: What did the cupcake tell its frosting? / A: I’d be muffin without you.

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