Jokes for Teens

Whenever you jump on a trampoline, did you know it changes the season?

Whenever you jump on a trampoline, did you know it changes the season?

No matter what time of year, it always becomes spring time.

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A party in a church never turns out well

Rave party in a church. Some half-brown dreadlocked dude in a Jesus costume fucked a girl in the priest booth above the DJ stage.

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What do you call a nosy pepper?

Q: What do you call a nosy pepper? / A: Jalapeno business!

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Little thief

When I was around four or five I was with my mom at this store buying some Christmas gifts. as we were leaving I saw these little plushy dinosaurs that fit perfectly in my hands. I grabbed two of them and stashed one in each of my pockets. my pockets were so small that they made me look like I had two rumors on each of my hips. I still remember the rush of energy I got from actually leaving the store undetected. well, when my mom and I got to the car, she found them and called the store back and made me apologize. I had the absolute worst social anxiety when I was a kid so I was a absolutely sobbing, telling this poor employee how horrible a person I was. like I was having a mental breakdown, it was so bad my mom apologized to me afterwards and bought me a nice milkshake!

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What’s it called when kittens get stuck in a tree?

What’s it called when kittens get stuck in a tree?

cat-astrophe.

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Why did the bullet end up losing his job?

Why did the bullet end up losing his job?

He got fired.

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What has two legs but can’t walk?

Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of pants.

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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

Q, What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A. A carrot.

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Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands. (I love this joke because it never grows old.)

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Why do pancakes always win at baseball?

Why do pancakes always win at baseball?

They have the best batter.

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Cringey!

My best friend and I are super weird, and whenever either of us see an attractive person we tend to take a picture of them and send it to each other, because why not?

Anyway, I was on a cruise ship with my grandparents, and I spot this super cute guy a couple years older than me. Naturally, I freak out a little, & I whip out my phone. Bare in mind I’m sat next to my grandparents in the middle of a crowded lobby.

So I open my camera, take a picture- and guess what?

THE FUCKING FLASH WAS ON, WASN’T IT?

I make eye contact with thus cute guy, look at my Grandparents who both look extremely disappointed, and a few other people are looking at me. Obviously I left the room immediately.

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What do you call a religious person who sleepwalks?

What do you call a religious person who sleepwalks?

A roamin’ Catholic.

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Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?

Q: Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window? / A: To see butter-fly.

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Why were they called the “dark ages?”

Why were they called the “dark ages?”

Because there were a lot of knights.

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Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold?

Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold?

The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.

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